When a society is dictated by loons – the Marxist social engineers’ control mechanism

Currently, in the West, there is only one thing that unites the left and the right – our inability to control our reactions to the collectivised mental disorders existing everywhere we look. These pathologies are affecting everyone, even those who choose to dig their heads in the sands. Narcissism is the most prevalent of all the disorder, which has exploded from 1% to nearly 7% in recent years.

There is no doubt that most of the blame rests upon the social engineers who have built the perfect infrastructure for this mental disorder to thrive. Single mothers, promiscuity, female supremacy, inferior supremacy, romanticising mental conditions, envy based redistribution of people’s wealth and other Marxist ideologies, have worked together to erode the West’s moral, social and religious core values which functioned to protect us from such an occurrence.

Whilst researching, I discovered that there does not exist a single deranged symptom within narcissism which is not expressed by politicians, SJWs, feminists, leftists, professors and other minorities. Every. Single. One. Below, I have made a quick table listing some of the most basic symptoms of narcissism and have given a simple and internet famous example to demonstrate the how these abnormal behaviours are expressed in our culture. However, as the symptom list is significantly longer than my list, I leave it up to the reader to research narcissism and think of other examples.

 

Symptoms of narcissism vs culture

 

Brenton Tarrant terrorism, cultural narcissism exposed

Now that the nature of narcissism has been set out, I shall explore a detailed example on how these disturbed people are endangering the West’s security and how they protect themselves from taking any responsibility.

Rivers of blood – when Eid Al-Adha, the feast of animal sacrifice, is displayed through the changing climate.

In the West, cultural narcissists have become very adept at using devasting events to push their pathologies on to societies at large. One such event is the New Zealand mosque shooting. Jacinta Arden, New Zealand’s Prime Minister, went out of her way to use this massacre as a virtue signalling pageantry. Within hours of the shooting, Arden set the pace by initially declaring further limits to already limited gun laws.

She then proceeded into a full blown narcissism attack, using Islamic costume props and enacting exaggerated scenes of empathy. (Excessive displays of feelings and outrage are expressions of narcissism.) She carefully shifted blame from herself to the New Zealand population through sharing an Islamic pray hosted in the NZ parliament, generously showering victims’ families with tax payer’s money, sponsored state funerals and offered to pay for corpse transfers to any destination in the world. A stereotypical narcissist manipulative manoeuvre to reel in the scapegoats and then guilt trip them by deflecting the blame on to them .

Arden also rendered the killer nameless, making it easier for her to conceal her participation in the creation of a lethal cultural concoction. Another narcissistic distraction and deflection technique: by dehumanising the mass murderer it helped her seem more human – a vampire sucking life from an unscrupulous criminal.

Jacinta Arden re-enacting Saint Mary Magdalene by crucifying Christianity and resurrecting Islam, the religion of misanthrope. Yet another puritanical whore faking repentance for her sins by transferring her culpability to innocent New Zealanders.

So not to be outdone by the most efficient Auschwitzian terrorist operation in my lifetime, a noble delinquent physically assaulted a senator (from behind) and orchestrated Haka primitive war dances toddled on TV screens like flocks of wingless kiwi birds for days on end. Narcissistic compulsion to outcompete and exaggerated fake morals.

Right on cue, the virtuous ABC pulled out their reserve team of control freaks and Chinese sponsored communists, who I have never seen before and, luckily, very likely never to see again, all arrogantly singing in unison that the people don’t have the right to view streams, to share streams, to talk about streams, to mention anyone in streams, to identify people in streams, to think about streams and even dream about streams. Drunk on their delusions of control and having more than 6 geriatrics who regularly listen to their putrid vomit, they took it one step further by also stating that the killer must remain nameless, faceless, bodiless and raceless (but not sexless). In fact, all criminals must remain nameless, faceless, bodiless and raceless (but not sexless). What a convenient, cunning plan to aid their control over Australians, attempting to manipulate and dilute our ability to make crime and race connections, so to save their sorry arses.

Brenton Tarrant killing spree picture and his manifesto uploaded specifically to spite ABC’s narcissistic delusions of grandeur – your communist impositions are as worthless as your programmes.

Whilst Channel 10 got the ultimate communist narcissistic misanthrope to cry and virtue signal simultaneously, whilst ever so subtly throwing a threat in for good measure. Salt and kilij may indeed mix, diluted salt makes an excellent disinfectant. In case of injury, that is.

The sword is mightier than the tear.

Channel 7, on the other hand, under the pretext of debate, boobytrapped into a corner another senator who did not agree with the narcissists’ narrative. They silenced her by not giving her any opportunity to respond through a coordinated and relentless misogynistic bullying. These two arseholes, one being an ex-MSM stooge and an alcoholic and the other a current MSM stooge and a vapid, quarrelsome eunuch, teamed their narcissism to also shift the blame on to Pauline Hansen. Scapegoating and deflection are classical narcissistic techniques of manipulation, and these two losers went full throttle – dehumanising, torturing and humiliating Pauline to feed their need to feel significant, impactful and special. Like Saint Magdalene Arden, this chauvinistic, disturbed duo coordinated a vicious attack so to distract viewers from considering their culpability to the Tarrant massacre.

A horror “debate”.

This sleazy day time soapie production was then followed by the Australian government which decided to ban Milo from entering Australia (yet again) and which prompted another ABC intellectual brainstorm where they decided to override the constitution and ban all senators who resist their narcissistic narrative. Again, arrogance and delusions of importance are symptoms of narcissism.

Last night, Australian Telcos also joined the gang and decided to cut off Australia’s access to numerous news and discussion sites such as 4chan/pol and Zero Hedge. Welcome to China, folks.

Erdogan, like all Muslims, a loud-mouthed little tyrant who likes to milk violent Islamic sentiments through Muslim ignorance, took this opportunity to theorise a conspiracy reminiscent of a James Bond movie. After seeing that neither kindred-narcissist, Saint Magdalena Arden or Lemon-king Morrison, have the balls to do their jobs, Erdogan pushed his Islamic agenda further by inciting Islamic unrest within Australia with the hope to activate more jihadist massacres. The little tyrant threatened to kill Australians who visit the Turkish-shithole and also desecrated of our WWI heroes, who gave their lives so that we could be free. One would be forgiven to think that Lemon-king Morrison could have used this opportunity to redeem his uselessness, but Lemon-Loser Morrison delivered the usual submissive, virtue signalling, victimised narcissist response – a cowardly narcissist incapable to undertake the duty of a Prime Minister. This gutless, corrupt bag of compost needs to be tossed out asap, he poses a serious threat to Australia’s national security.

In the narcissist’s competitive mind, the issue they see here is not that Brentan Tarrant exterminated 50 misanthropes, rather, that he was better at killing than their pet misanthropes. Brentan Tarrant has raised the terrorist bar to new heights. He has propagandised the event like no other terrorist has ever done, one week in and the media and pollies are still discussing this event. He single headedly killed 50 and injured another 50 without getting a scratch on himself. He multitasked his killings between 2 mosques. He streamed a significant portion of his massacre. He has exposed the hypocrisy and totalitarianism of the left, the pollies and the media. And most importantly, he has managed to get significant support from the internet.

It sickens me to see that these narcissistic loons are motivated by envy. Yes, let that sink in – the left is envious of the efficiency and clever layers within this massacre. Their envy is pushing them to out-compete a mass killer in any which way they can – virtue signalling, scapegoating senators and the people, shifting blame, making threats, controlling the people through censorship and guilt tripping, arresting and threatening the people for nothing. If it weren’t so frightening it would be hilarious.

God bless the West and deliver us from these disturbed manipulators who are incapable of true love and empathy.

Your time is up, loons.

 

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving

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12 Socialist rules for identity politics play

According to Labor, the Liberals, and the Greens, everyone except for Labor, the Liberals and the Greens, are dividing the nation with identity politics tactics. But the truth is, they do use identity politics to gain votes, but have also fine tuned how to concealed their tactic by following the some basic rules.

1. Re-define reality.

Redefine democracy to mean socialism. It’s the only way people are able to accept such a wacky, envy-driven ideology and accept being tax-serfs for minorities.

 

2.  Infantilise minds.

Strip people’s independence, accountability and self-soothing environments which teach how to become adults and replace with undiscerning thinking, dependency, hand-outs and a nanny state.

 

3.  Promote the under-classes as the new super-classes.

Incentivise and recruit the vunerable and the limited with the promise of gold and supremacy.

 

4.  Dehumanise, demonise and discriminate the majority of Australians.

Privileged rapist.

 

5.  Sectionalise and create quarrelling identities.  Divide and conquer.

Equalise the inequality gap despite statistical analysis, limitations, what the minorities really want, where their talents lay, the resentment and hatred caused and displacing and scarring countless children.

 

6.  Use the struggle and noise created to further strip citizens of their rights.

Build platforms and armies of useful idiots who will allow for the insertion of more hate-speech, anti-discrimination, anti-free speech, anti-self-defense, anti-white laws and the implementation of minority quotas. Sneak in more anti-terrorist laws for good measure. (Never lose an opportunity to oppress)

 

7.  Shame people who refuse to join the Borg.

Anyone who attempts to point out the replacement of democracy with socialism occuring in Australia  is a big meanie or a troll.

 

8.  Camouflage the hypocrisy.

How can we possibly be divisive and play identity politics if we protect the underclasses, the victims and the minorities? We’re here to help because we care…

 

9.  Use minorties as human shields for self-protection.

We protect the underclasses and minorities. Even if it means that all whites must die.

 

10.  Deflect criticism.

Lalalalalala! Racist, racist, racist! Then ban, limit and censor to fix the problem.

 

11.  Create a bogeyman

People who do not agree with us are all Nazis!

 

12.  If all modes of control fail then attack and destroy.

Paper stone or scissors: fire, dox or assault.

 

Australian politicians have become extremely adept at using identity politics and then covering their tracks with these 12 shallow rules because dividing a culture pays excellent vote dividents. However, in doing so they are also exposing themselves to excellent chances for treason charges by a populist who may rise in the future.  I wouldn’t wanna be in their red, sparkly, tranny shoes should that happen…

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving

The death of the neo-liberal puritanical whore

The weak confuse puritanism with purity. And courage with surrender.

 

When I see an elderly woman soliciting feminism my immediate thought is that she is making a retirement fund investment.  Only a woman of retirement age could be so oblivious to the cultural swing occurring in the West – puritanical whore-ism is on the way out.

No comment for fear of offending irony.

I cannot think of a better way to capture this blossoming cultural shift than with Julie Bishop’s (second) staged resignation. A contaminated old heart waving a lily-white frock, whilst threatening to spill the dirt on her party should they not pass her seat on to another puritanical whore.  Powerless, unpopular amongst her peers and discarded by her owner into a final disposable farewell performance, she dictates and threatens tens of senators (our cuckold PM inclusive) with a “do as I say or else.’  And what is Julie Bishop capable of exactly? Will she ssspit regurgitated poison or write yet another strategically timed, make-believe political memoir packed with pedestrian spite? Yawn. Show me the nuclear missiles or get out, has-been Medusa.

Women of strength have always existed and they do not use infantile feminist tactics to gain power. They choose to weaponise their cryptographs and anchor their bloodhounds’ devotion.  Indeed, such a woman was Thatcher who weaponised the colour blue, turning it into an anti-comunista flag which decorated her structured suits-armor.  Queen Elizabeth I, another powerhouse, weaponised her chaste sexuality to circumvent masculine barriers and to weave herself, her nation and her religion together. She engineered her persona into an iconic symbol that embodied crown, people and culture – power’s holy trinity.

Thatcher turned the Tory blue into an anti-comunista war flag.Those lacking resources are not in a position to bluff – puritanism is a cloak for the corrupt and a noose for the strong.  Feminism is a control mechanism for the weak to prevent the strong from rising …but the illusion is shattering. Good riddance to weakness and power be to the rebirth of the West’s Glorianas!

A barren wasteland cannot dictate terms.

 

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving

(Ghost) Busting the Parliament House

A long time ago, in the evil, evil Kerry Packer headquarters, there hid a nasty, little Slimer which took advantage of Mr. Packer’s uncivilized behaviour. Kerry Packer, one of Australia’s esteemed mafioso elites, having the patience of a pit-bull and the intuition of a dung beetle, would summon his staff by calling them and abruptly stating, “ Kerry Packer here, come to my office.” Then terminating his calls with the same finesse as his introduction. Of course, such refinement and empathy inspired immediate attention, and those who chose not to obey his laws a pink invitation slip would greet them following day.

The resourceful, little Slimer took advantage of Kerry’s unsophisticated ways and put it to use by creating his very own staff filtering system. It would call journalists and staff members impersonating the God-dung Himself. When the oblivious staff member promptly reported himself to the Dung-ball’s chamber, he would be greeted with foul language followed by a pink slip.
Word travelled quickly through the evil headquarters, but no one was brave enough to tell Mr Dung the truth. Staff chose to live in fear over facing the evil master in person. If the fake dung beetle called and the journalist chose to follow through the request, they risked being fired.  If it was the real dung beetle who called and the journalist did not proceed, they also risked being fired. Quite a conundrum. Soon enough, after several staff reshuffles, the Slimer achieved his goal and was never heard of again.

For some coincidental reason, the recent poltergeist activities occurring in the federal Parliament House prompted this old phantasmagorical memory to appear in my head, again.  And is it any wonder with all the paranormal activities occurring on a daily basis!?  Lights switch off and on at the most inopportune moment.  Alarm bells are sounded just when the rapefugee panic gripped the pollies.  Ghost hatters are hacking into pollies servers.  And an innocent staff member who was prancing around the corridors of the parliament very late at night, minding his own business, suddenly got possessed by an evil entity which turned him into a serial killer forcing him to strike an elderly senator and drawing blood!  Could there be naughty,  little Gremlins or Slimers living in the air ducts of the Parliament House or is this entity something more sinister? And what is its end-game?  If I worked there an unregistered nuclear accelerator sure would sound mighty appealing.  My advice: learn to meditate and purify your souls  as you never know is God appears before you and asks, ” Choose the form of your destructor.”

Could Sarah Hanson-Young have fed a cute little gremlin after midnight after her routine midnight rendezvous?

 

Was James Ashby slimed or possessed?

 

Why is a resourceful Gremlin hacking into the pollies’ servers?

 

Is an Annabelle doll being displayed in one of the glass cabinets?

 

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving

Slicing off the fat – keto diet for the Government

 

For some months, I have been successfully losing weight using the “sensible Australia dietary guidelines”. The process has been slow, and if I’m honest with myself, designed for failure. Don’t get me wrong, I held my ground, but I understood its temporary nature.

More recently, however, a friend of mine recommended intermittent fasting, which then developed into the Keto diet. Initially, I scoffed and dismissed both to protect my feelz and diet program narrative, but Youtube’s subliminal messages worked their magic. A single view prompted more recommendations, and then another and so on and so forth. Soon enough my observing turned into applying. Science and logic always win me over.

To cut a long story short, this dietary lifestyle is taking off in Australia like a loaded B52 itching for a bombardment mission – a diet revolution in the making. It rejects lobbyist derived government recommendations by spraying sugar witchcraft with MTC cold pressed extra virgin oil. It shatters everything we understand about food and health and exploits nature’s loopholes. They say truth always rises, but it always seems to be Western science which always soars and catapult civilization into a new reality. Keto is the diet wheel re-invented and there’s no stopping it.

So, anyway, this got me thinking …why not apply Keto and fasting principles to our fat, sluggish governments? Keto would do them a world of good. Imagine an efficient team working for the people instead of working to increase their fat deposits. Imagine a lean, flag-waving pollie-team, all lined up like a freshly sharpened penciled ammunition belt ready to shoot solutions, wealth growth and stability, instead of kissing donors’ arse.  Hell, let’s imagine how we could improve them just for kicks!

 

1.  Keto sharpens the mind and delays Alzheimer.
This is the age of political 4D chess playing. Politicians with intellectual disabilities, unable to plan for the future, come up with good solutions, and out-scheme the lobbyists, would greatly benefit from a bureaucracy-fat burning keto diet. The naturally born dunces who resist improvement can be easily pinpointed and readily thrown out onto the reject pile.

 

2.  Keto burns off useless and unsightly fat deposits.
Enough of sending flabby and morbidly obese pollies overseas to represent the Australian people. This gives a negative message to other countries – weakness and laziness. Politicians must personify fortitude and agility. Get ripped or get out.

Sexy and fit Michelle Jennecke would make an excellent replacement to our diseased, diet-traitor Marise Payne as the Minister of Foreign Affairs. Marise would be deployed as an unsinkable evacuation raft for the in-coming illegals now that the floodgates have been officially re-opened.

 

3.  Keto is satiating.
Politics would become so much more satisfying to the 30% of Australians who can’t speak English.  Increasing minorities’ understanding as to what the federal government is up to would speed up cultural integration. Promise.

Top, left to right: Lemon King, Murky Mike, Billy the Defiler & Bewitching Coal-stashing Riccardo. Not the most physically appealing lot, but with the correct plan their profound intellectualism has the potential to satiate the minds of all Australians.

 

4.  Keto is delicious – it doesn’t fight nature, it works with it.
Keto allies with nature to satiate the palette. Why force the people to swallow tasteless insipid, soy-weak language salads saturated in low-quality illegals and divisive over-processed feminism ideology. We could, instead, have power-salads sprinkled with punches of bold flavours such as taking back our resources, real tax cuts, real border protection, infrastructure catch-up and a hell of lot more jobs. We are in desperate need of flavoursome ideas to counteract the self-loathing force feeding unhealthy diet the government is pushing on us.

Yummy vs Soy-érzi

 

5.  Keto gives you energy and focus.
The misapplied energy bursts our federal politicians are releasing are very concerning to the Australian people. House debates have become screaming matches with no substance and no wit. It has devolved into a cheap reality-TV show lacking argumentation, deductive reasoning, intelligence, truthful data, balls, loyalty and, most importantly, a point. Most of the time the questioned politician does not address the question, opting instead to take the opportunity to propagandise. Being thrown out of the chamber is at an all-time high, as is profanity and, more recently, violent behaviour. They’ve become a heard of undignified mountain goats perched in their seats, loudly bleating to showcase their enormous cucked-antlers. Placing these scattered, horn-queans on a keto diet would help harness their thinking and regulate their testosterone and insulin levels.

Scattered goat-queans proudly exposing their horns.

 

6.  Keto makes you very regular.
Super non-GMO feeds for super results followed by super fasts for a deep cleansing detoxification.

Unblocking the pipes will clarify politicians’ thinking.

 

7.  Keto is anti-inflammatory.
Keto reduces hunger hormones and increases calming hormone. And chamomile is a keto friendly.

Taking keto strip testing to a new level.

 

The overton window, as to what constitutes healthy eating, is shifting, and it has done so in an extremely short time frame. The West’s enthusiasm to adopt this new way of thinking demonstrates its enormous learning ability and adaptability. Increasingly, new Keto foods are being manufactured and are appearing in grocery stores in spite of veganism (a Marxist derived radical food ideology) and junk food programming (a corporate Marxist victims’ addiction) imposed on our culture.  Australians are showing the government that we have the ability to supersede deceitful strategies and programming, and that we can adapt and progress at a very rapid pace. All thanks to the internet.

Keto is just the first step, we have the ability to change the worlda unified team. If our pathetic government refuses to adapt and shed off their massive stock of toxic fat, it shall be obliterated. If the MSM continues to act like cancer-inducing insulin triggers, it shall be destroyed. Our soils for our health. Our government for our people. Our Media for the truth. Trim the fat from Canberra and make Australia healthy again!

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving

 

A Royal Prerogative

The English fought a civil war over this matter. The Civil war in England between King Charles I and the parliament was over the right of the parliament or the King to make the appropriation.

Sir Christopher Pyne, 12.02.2019

 

 

RapeyBill 2.0: I couped the Crown to welcome rapey illegalz! Open the floodgates.

 

Lord of the Lemons: I deem only illegalz with kidz can rape Auztralia! Open the floodgates.

Which rape enabler will you vote for? 

 

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving

It’s raining lemons.

 

These are tough times for the Liberals, they have been carpet bombed with lemons since the 2018 spill. But ScoMo is holding his ground like a champion and is turning these regrettable lemons into a renewable energy source, invigorating the party and illuminating the voting bloc. His disproportionate energy level and interminable apple-polishing are becoming an inspiration to all Australians and politicians alike. No ascorbic explosion can slow Scott down, he sucks up every sour bomb thrown at him and uses it to make the most scrumptious outcomes. When life hands Scott Morrison a lemon, Scott turns it into sweet lemonade.

Sustralia’s little Benjamin Franklin: Scott Morrison turning lemon hail into a source of renewable energy whilst rocking to the tune of U2’s “Lemon”.

His genius has spiked my interest like no other leader. I needed to know everything about him, including the effortless prose which pours out of mouth whenever it is not occupied with food. I hounded his skillful PR team for months until they relented and granted me an interview.

When I finally got to meet Australia’s Franklinian virtuoso it felt so dreamlike that every time he answered one of my questions I had to bite down on my lower lip. To my utter surprise, Scott Morrison was equally excited to meet me and confessed that he too had been anticipating our meeting. So much so, Scott was unable to contain his excitement and blurting out that he was in the process of creating the ultimate winning campaign and slogan for the 2019 Federal election – a lemon recipe book! Catching my breath, I asked as to what had inspired Scott to author a recipe book. Scott responded, “We are harvesting more lemons than we can handle, I thought to put them to good use.” Then quickly adding, “I live by example, I also want to show to the Australian public that I do my bit to save the earth. I’m trying my hardest to recycle our lemons as much as possible, as we’ve never had such a bountiful harvest.”

Impressed by his live by the lemon, die by the lemon approach to life, I asked Cheffy Scotty what will be the title of the book. He timidly smiled and admitted that he was still tossing between “Gone with the Lemons” and “Lord of the Lemons.”

I am thrilled to share with my readers the 2019 political scoop. Without further ado let’s sink our teeth into the world exclusive Cheffy Scotty’s mouth-watering lemon recipes!

Lemon Curd alla Malcolm Turnbull

Ingredients: When Scott Morison was asked by Alan Jones, “Will there be more missions for this man [Malcom Turnbull] to spread his own discredited views?” Super-alpha Scott Morrison laid down the rules and responded with a resolute “No.” Alan should now ask ScoMo as to why Turnbull was sent to negotiate the transfer of the remaining Naru children.

Photo exhibited as “Eyes wide closed” at the Australian Art Gallery. A stolen snapshot of a relaxed a Turnbull not sporting his usual impaled neck posture. A rare glimpse into Turnbull’s mind.

Instructions:
1. Squeeze 10 bitter-green lemons and pour juice into a large bowl adding 5 tablespoons of lemon rind, 1 egg, 1/2 teaspoon of sugar and a good pinch of salt. Whisk vigorously until ingredients combine.
2. Place bowl on simmering water and slowly stir taking care not to scramble the egg. Stir until ingredients thicken into a ray of radiant sunshine yellow.
3. Remove from heat and add a full brick of cold butter to aid the cooldown and cut through the vinegary pungency.
4. Whisk vigorously.

 

The Julie Bishop Half-eaten Up-side-down Lemon Cake

Ingredients: Shortly after Julie Bishop’s resignation Scott Moron commented, “She [Julie Bishop] is a role model.” However, Scott neglected to retract his statement when Julie Bishop retracted her resignation.

Julie’s short-lived resignation from politics left us craving for more.

Instructions:
1. Micro slice 2 lemons making sure to retain their delicate shape. Creating a waterproof decorative seal is very important for this recipe.
2. Coarsely grate 2 lemon peels taking care not to bruise the skin so to retain maximum acidity.
3. Sparingly sprinkle brown sugar on top of a hot skillet. The sugar exists only to caramelise the lemon seal, not for sweetening purposes.
4. Place lemon slices on top of the sugar in an overlapped, repetitive circular pattern in order to package the sour batter and preventing it from seeping out.
5. Add flour, a cup of sour cream, 10 tablespoons of bicarbonate soda, salt, the coarsely grated lemon rind and ½ brick of butter into a bowl. Do not skimp on butter, it acts as an acid regulator to stop the sponge from becoming dry, shriveled and brittle.
6. Whisk all ingredients together, pour on top of the caramelised lemon slices and slow cook in the oven.
7. Once cooked, flip cake onto a plate to showcase the lemon decoration and to hide the sour sponge. Cut cake in half and discard. Use the remaining cake as a zingy appetiser.

 

Salt Preserved Julia Banks Lemons

Ingredients: Scott Morrison kept his farewell card message to Julia short and sweet, “Of course that’s disappointing…” Immediately after he had his assistant cancel Ms. Banks’ one-way ticket to New York.

A touch of zest within reach, preserved for prosperity.

Instructions:
1. Make two deep incisions into each lemon in the shape of a cross.
2. Stuff the incisions with copious amounts of coarse salt.
3. Once the lemons are gorged with salt, place into a mason jar firmly ramming each lemon as far down as possible so to release their citric goodness and to cram as many lemons into the jar as possible.
4. When the jar is stuffed to its maximum capacity, add the rest of the spilled salt.
5. Cover lemons with lukewarm water.
6. Seal the jar, turn it upside down and give it a few shakes.
7. Cure and use when seasoning is required.

 

Kelly O’Dwyer Bittersweet Lemon Marmalade

Ingredients: Upon O’Dywer’s resignation announcement, Cheffy Scotty stood by Kelly in solidarity and said, “I support her choice, I support all women’s choice. I want them to have more and more choices.” Scotty is a man of his word, he has provided O’Dwyer with the only choice.

The perfect recipe for giving quasi rotten lemons a new lease.

Instructions:
1. Using steel wool, scrub 1 kilo of lemons under running water. Make sure to thoroughly clean every bit of dirt off the rind.
2. Place them in a large pan, cover with cold water and bring to a fast boil.
3. Remove lemon from the pan, scoop and separate the pulp from the peels and then finely slice the peels.
4. Return lemon pulp and lemon rind into the pan, adding sugar. Bring to boil again making sure to occasionally stir so that the mixture does not stick on to the sides of the pan.
5. Place glass jars into a pre-heated oven and cook on high heat so to eliminate any contamination.
6. Once marmalade is fully cooked, skim off impurities from the top and let it cool to room temperature.
7. Ladle mixture into the sanitised hot jars and seal immediately.
8. Store in a cool, dark place.

 

Andrew Broad Deconstructed Tinder Lemon Chicken Breast Wrap

Ingredients: An unofficial Russian source anonymously reported to an undisclosed junior parliament staffer who then told an unnamed reliable ABC reporter after a couple of bourbon ‘n’ cokes and quick shag in the unisex loo at the local pub, that during a ministerial meeting Cheffy Scotty complained, “Spy conspiracies are hard. Really, really hard.”

“Sex-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.” Pearl Buck

 

Australia Day Nigel Scullion Bush Lemon Parfait

Ingredients: “Retirements won’t hurt us at polls.” Cheffy Scotty. (Nor will the NLC investigation.)

It’s OK to resign.

Instructions:
1. Pour 2 cups of heavy cream and 5 cups of sugar into a pan. Gently cook over the stove until sugar is fully dissolved.
2. Pour in the juice of a bush lemon and stir until mixture has thickened.
3. Pass mixture through a sieve and discard the lumpy bits.
4. Set mixture aside to continue its cooking process until it cools to room temperature.
5. To construct pudding select tall, clear glasses so that the decorative layered pattern can be showcased.
6. Place crisp biscuit crumbs on the bottom of each glass, then plop a good amount of the cooled down bush lemon parfait, followed with a generous layer of whipped cream and a sprinkle of chopped candied lemon rind. Rinse and repeat until glass is full.
7. Refrigerate. Sweet tooth satisfaction when needed.

 

Michael Keenan Neapolitan Limoncello Granita

Ingredients: You can’t fire an honest man.

Cheffy Scotty has taken the humble lemon snowball to new heights with this authentic Neapolitan textured granita. This is no smooshy, sludgy sorbet. A super icy, dry textured in a coarse shard texture and plenty of tang.

Instructions:
1. For an authentic Neapolitan experience turn on the stereo and listen to a Rossini aria whilst prepping. I recommend “Una voce poco fa’ ” since Rosina is the quintessential Mediterranean chick (if she doesn’t put you in the mood to cook up a storm I don’t know what will.)
2. Chop the top off of 4 lemons using a sharp cleaver. Scoop out pulp.
3. Juice and grate the zest of 3 lemons and place into a pan.
4. Add 2 cups of water and 6 cups of sugar and slowly bring to boil.
5. Simmer until a thick, golden bright syrup is formed. Allow to cool to room temperature.
6. Add a couple of shots of limoncello liqueur to mixture and stir.
7. Freeze overnight.
8. Shave sorbet with a large sharp knife making sure to use long gliding motion. Freeze overnight.
9. The perfect invigorating palette cleanser between rich, complex courses. Best served on a cold plate.

 

ScoMo Lemon Meringue Losing Face Pie

As grateful as I was for having been given this flavourful exclusive, Cheffy Scotty resisted my request to his “ScoMo Lemon Meringue Losing Face Pie”. He did, however, share a sneak peek salivary gland-pinching picture and the Liberals’ 2019 campaign slogan. Recipes will be released in full in August. I can’t wait!

Cheffy Scotty Lemon Meringue Losing Face Pie
The to be released LNP 2019 winning campaign slogan

For those of you who sway even further to the left, rest assured that Bill Shorten will not be outdone and is busy at work fertilising freshly planted lemon groves. Bill 2.0’s recipes will be slow-released in the coming months. Yummy, yummy.

Bill 2.0 fertilising his lemon grove.

And if you thought that Cheffy Scotty bears ill-will towards Bill 2.0’s cultural appropriation, think again! Since ScoMo and the Liberals live by the lemon slogan, they offer nothing but cooperation, comradery and undisclosed deals with the ALP.

Best of luck, guys. Australian voters are anxiously awaiting to experience these delights in the coming months. We can’t wait for August!

 

Annabelle @ The Art of Flag-waving